In addition to sporting some of TV’s most dramatic writing, Cobra Kai it also has its fair share of hilarious quotes that deserve special mention. In fact, comedy has been a favorite element of the series since it debuted in 2018, and the writing team has shown no signs of slowing down.
This kind of comedy helps break the tension and drama that usually surrounds the rest of the series, which is a nice change of pace. Lead character Johnny Lawrence remains the funniest character on the show, but many others have taken their chance to drop a funny quote or two.
Carmen Congratulates Johnny On His Cooking In Mexico (Episode 1)
“Thanks, I Got The Recipe From The Chili Website. I Want It To Be True.”
Johnny Lawrence is not a cultural individual, nor does he understand about a world that has shifted since the 1980s. As such, he is especially useless when it comes to experiencing what other cultures have to offer, even those close to him.
In the first installment of season 4, Johnny decides to surprise the Diaz family by inviting them over for dinner. When Carmen mentions that the food she prepared smells, Johnny responds with this quote, betraying how little he knows about making anything other than a ham sandwich.
Terry’s acquaintance examines John Kreese’s Jaw (Episode 1)
“You have a Habsburg Jawline. I’ve Never Seen One So Perfect!”
Cobra Kai mega-villain John Kreese completely absent from his element when he decides to show up at Terry Silver’s door and crash into an afternoon lunch. Instead of abandoning him, Silver is forced to invite him at the behest of his girlfriend, a tech entrepreneur with a large network of snobby elites in California.
After refusing a tofu appetizer, Kreese noticed one of Silver’s acquaintances examining his jawline with particular interest, before dropping this quote. It’s interesting the fact that a Habsburg Jawline is considered a genetic disorder, but Kreese doesn’t understand the reference.
Daniel Asks Johnny’s Lesson Plan For The Day (Episode 2)
“I’ll Go Through the Feeling. Some Days I’ll Throw Them Into A Cement Mixer, Other Days I’ll Find A Hornet’s Nest To Kick Them.”
The team-up between Johnny Lawrence and Daniel LaRusso was born out of necessity, and has little way of vision. Thus, the ensuing conflict between the two was unexpected, and in fact, almost inevitable. The development of their relationship is a burning question for Cobra Kai season 5.
After Johnny failed the “sand the floor” lesson plan by finishing the entire sparring deck with an electric sander, Daniel asked him what his lesson plan was for the day. Johnny responds to this quote, which is absolutely awesome, and directly speaks to his unusual training methods.
Demetri Asks Where Johnny Takes The Miyagi-Do Students (Episode 3)
“Nowhere Good! I heard He drowned a kid in the pool trying to teach him how to spank!
Miyagi-Do and Eagle Fang students replaced Sensei in the third season, and that meant hell for the first. They no longer have to contend with Johnny Lawrence’s ridiculous, unreasonable, and dangerous training regimens in the past, and Johnny will no longer give them a free pass.
After they ran up several stairs to a rooftop, the tired students stopped and asked where they were going. Demetri responded to this quote, before sharing some news about Johnny’s famous reputation. In fact, Johnny’s training methods can be considered incarcerating transgression.
Carmen And Johnny Talk About Top Gun (Episode 4)
“You Can’t Call Yourself A Maverick! The Man Hasn’t Even Found A Place In Miramar. Killed His Wingman Again. Not Cool.”
Daniel’s new Sensei/student relationship with Miguel has been enough to upset Johnny. She didn’t expect her star student to be close to her biggest rival, and that was the cause of … issues between herself and Carmen, especially with room activities.
After failing in the show, the two talk about Daniel and Michael, before the conversation somehow escalates into a Top Gun pakisayran. When Carmen reveals that she likes Tom Cruise’s character Maverick, an angry Johnny responds to this ridiculous quote, completely missing the point.
All Valley Board Discusses Upcoming Tournament (Episode 6)
[Sue] “Oh God, It’s The Malcolm-Jamal Warner Debacle Again!” [George] “We’ll All Have Eggs in Our Faces That Day.”
The sixth season started with mostly professional members of the All-Valley Karate Tournament arguing with each other about how to change it for the current year, and things became personal. Their frustration quickly turned to exhaustion, especially when the President of the board suggested bringing in a celebrity for a musical performance.
Sue and George then share a horrible memory of something they call the “Malcolm-Jamal Warner debacle,” which is even worse. Surprisingly, the proposal paid off, with pop-country star Carrie Underwood making a shocking cameo appearance in eight episodes.
Johnny And Carmen Reveal Their Relationship To Miguel (Episode 7)
“We’re Waiting For The Right Time And Place. We Want To Take You To A Nice Restaurant … A Chili’s Or A Marie Callender’s. A Red Lobster.”
Johnny’s lack of culture and kindness makes the funny head grow once more in the seventh episode, after Miguel finds his headband on his mother’s bed. it Cobra Kai favorite fan duo decided it was time to clean up, and it was as awkward as anyone would expect, especially with Johnny involved.
They apologized for not announcing the news immediately, and Johnny said they were waiting for the right time to shed the seeds. He exacerbates things by quoting this quote, revealing what he believes to be a “good restaurant.”
Johnny Has Trouble Getting A Part (Episode 7)
“Always Wear Protection. No? No … Don’t Wear Protection. Uhhh, Let You Woman Decide That.”
Johnny became Miguel’s Sensei for three seasons Cobra Kai, and with that relationship came a father/son dynamic, as well as two friends bonding in karate. As a result, it was very difficult for Johnny to adapt to his role as Miguel’s surrogate father, especially when his relationship with Carmen was exposed.
When Miguel showed up later to have dinner with them, Carmen was obviously upset. Miguel tells them that he was with Samantha on a date, but Carmen does not accept this excuse. Johnny, on the other hand, tries to give some wise relationship advice, much to Carmen’s dismay, especially when she retreats in the middle.
Cousin Vanessa Conducts A Family Therapy Session With LaRussos (Episode 8)
“All right, I’m Sorry, How Many Stones Do You Plan to Throw Out of Your Glass House?”
The sparse presence of Anthony LaRusso is one thing never understood Cobra Kai, but season 4 makes him a regular character. He had done so much in his time, and when his parents found out he was bullying a boy named Kenny at school, it was the last straw. In fact, the two face a countdown for giving Anthony too much freedom, with little way of disciplining.
When cousin Vanessa offers to sit down with Amanda and Daniel to discuss Anthony’s problems, they soon find themselves in crosshairs. Amanda soon became angry, reciting this funny quote to Vanessa, who remained perfectly objective and professional throughout the season.
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