In 2021, it will be more common for young adults to live with a lover or a lover than to get married.
One of the main reasons for this (for non -believers and equal believers) is the desire to ensure that the relationship is rooted in love. After all, you can’t buy a car without first driving it. Why not take a relationship for a spin before making a lifelong commitment?
Perhaps the best reason to avoid cohabitation is that the data suggests that doing so significantly increases the likelihood that a relationship will end badly. Of the eight couples living together, four separate without the wedding. Of the four couples who get married, three get divorced. Only one can enjoy a prosperous, satisfying marriage.
Cohabitation is dangerous because there is no commitment to be united in the relationship. It is important for the couple to say to each other, “I will be with you until you make me happy.” That is a shaky foundation on which to give life. It gives doubt and distrust to the very DNA of your relationship from a quick run. You sabotaged your wedding before you walked down the aisle.
Most couples do not know how to build a successful relationship or to prepare for the right marriage. Consider that 80% of couples who get quality training before marriage remain married. That success rate shows that there is a way for couples to make a lasting commitment to each other.
In Our Focus on Family Broadcast “Is Living Together Helpful or Harmful?” our guest Dr. Dave Gudgel discusses God’s plan for marriage and discusses how parents can solve the dangers of living with tact, persuasion, and most importantly, love.
Dave Gudgel has more than three decades of pastoral counseling experience and is the lead pastor of Bridges Community Church in the Bay Area of California.
If you feel you have no power in this area as a parent and are still worried that you will lose your relationship with your child due to the housing issue, get a copy of Dave’s book Before You Live Together: Can You Live Closer Together or Get Better?, available for a gift of any amount. For more information, visit our website.