What “season” is your marriage? Is it summer because things are warm and warm with your spouse? Or is it winter because things are a bit cold?
I remember how it felt when Jean and I fell in love. Like many couples in a new relationship, we enjoy being together whenever we can and dream of meeting when we can’t. It’s easy to think, “We always feel this way!”
But relationships are like time; they change. Some seasons are filled with warmth and excitement, while others seem cold or worldly. How we handle those times determines whether our marriage will improve or get better.
Author Debra Fileta joins us on our Best of 2021 Family Broadcast Focus ”Loving Your Spouse During Marriage”To help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect from each, and how they can be vigilant in navigating for a stronger marriage.
Four seasons can give the couple the best and worst:
- Spring-The relationship feels new and exciting. Couples are attracted to each other and want to be together. It’s also time to sow the seeds of what the relationship will look like in the years to come.
- Summer – The relationship heats up. Feelings are strong, and couples are more revealing of who they are. It is also a time where they begin to experience emotional, physical, and spiritual intimacy.
- Fall – As the leaves change from green to orange to yellow, fall reflects the true colors of a person’s personality. This is where people deal with their spouse’s faults and behaviors. It’s a time to practice vulnerability, learn how to manage conflict, and improve communication.
- Winter – The warm feelings of other seasons get cold, routines become rut, and conflict escalates. In winter, the couple’s roots go deep, or they wither due to resentment and apathy.
Unlike the four calendar seasons that occur in chronological order, the seasons of marriage come and go, even overlapping sometimes, sometimes over months, sometimes over years. Each season is an opportunity for the couple to grow.
I join Debra Fileta in my conversation with you local radio station, online, sa Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, or our free phone app.
While you’re online, why not take a few minutes to try our free Evaluating Marriage online tool? This will help you quickly figure out what is good in your relationship and identify areas where you need to improve.
Before I close, I want to remind you about Hope Restored. If you are on the brink of divorce, these marriage intensities can be a great way to speed up healing between you and your spouse and restore your relationship. Intensives will take place in three locations: Branson, MO; Greenville, MI; and the WinShape Retreat Center in Rome, GA. The number for Hope Restored is 1-866-875-2915, or visit online.
Debra Fileta is a blogger, professional consultant, and book author Love Every Time: Understanding the Four Stages of Every Healthy Relationship, available when you become a special partner with us through our monthly “Family Focusing Friends” program. Visit our website or call us at 1-800-A-FAMILY (232-6459) for more information.