I have an amazing set of tools in my garage. My brother and brothers -in -law are jealous of my collection. I have hammers, a circular saw, a saw, a router… everything I need for a decent workshop.
Trouble, I’m not a handyman. That round saw… I never used it. And the router? I’m not entirely sure what it’s for. I never knew how to use all the tools.
That means they don’t apply much to me.
Relationships are always like that for men. That’s why we struggle with communication problems. Because of this we have a hard time understanding our wife’s language of love. We have every tool we can think of, but we don’t know how to use it.
Our guest on our Focus on the Family Broadcast “Men and Relationships: What Works and What Doesn’tGreek Smalley and Dr. Michael Smalley. Greg is the Vice president of Marriage and Family Development at Family Focus. Michael is the CEO of the Smalley Institute in Houston, Texas.
They describe how men can learn to communicate more effectively. And it’s faster than you think. They explain six speech tools that every person needs:
- Open Sharing tool: Communication, sharing details, exploring motives, and expressing feelings.
- Patient Listening Tool: Not only can you hear your spouse’s words, but also understand what they mean in the back his words. Women communicate to share how they feel more often than facts.
- Win-Win tool: Give and take. An attitude and approach that avoids competition and minimizes conflict.
- Selfless Tool: Valuable for every relationship in your family. In marriage, this tool can help your spouse verbally love through compliments.
- Tender-Touch tool: A simple hug can eliminate fatigue, fear, frustration, and anger. Gently touching your wife has things like holding hands in public, giving a backrub, holding her when she cries.
- Tool of Time and Energy: Intend to spend time together to strengthen your relationship. For your wife, this means things like housework, sharing jokes, date nights, and praising her in public.
One of the reasons I love the Smalley family is because they are genuine and genuinely open to their lives. They are honest about the mistakes they have made, and they share good insights about how we can love, serve, and sacrifice for each other in marriage. Listen to our full conversation with you local radio station, online, sa Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, or our free phone app.
This program is designed for healthy, loving relationships where husband and wife have a generally healthy relationship. If your marriage is facing serious issues, we have mobile Christian counselors on staff, and they are privileged to offer you a free consultation. Call us, leave your name and number, and they will be with you as soon as possible. The business hour number is 1-800-A-FAMILY (232-6459).
While you’re here online, why not take a few minutes to try out our free Marriage Examination using online? This will help you determine how good your relationship is and identify areas where you may need improvement.
I would also like to offer you Dr. Greg Smalley and Dr. Michael Smalley Male Relationship Toolbox for a gift of any amount. Visit our website for more information. If you can’t, we’ll find a way to get it to you.