We try to predict everything – from the weather to the stock market to the winner of the Super Bowl or the World Series. But can anyone accurately predict the chances of your marriage succeeding?
Dr. John Gottman, a respected marriage therapist, estimates that he predicts with 90% accuracy when a newlywed couple will go the distance. His secret is not a crystal ball. This is extensive research that examines how couples communicate.
He said divorces are not the result of specific conflicts – such as money or in-laws – but how couples handle disagreements. He identified four key behaviors that increase the chances that a couple will divorce:
- Criticism.
- Defensive.
- Throwing stones.
- Acting with mutual contempt.
If your marriage suffers from poor communication, learn new communication skills that teach you how to solve difficult problems together.
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You and your partner are just a few skills away from creating a healthier relationship and improving your chances of enjoying a successful marriage.