When my sons were 6 and 8, Jean and I took them to Disneyland. That day, they were tired, had their own way, and were weak. My solution was to say, “Get over yourself, or you’ll never come back here.”
It was a stupid parenting strategy on my part because Jean and I enjoyed going to Disneyland as much as the boys. Which meant that I would not have been able to follow through with the consequences that I had threatened.
Sometimes we lose sight of the big picture. Strategies such as bribery, threats, or counting to three are less effective in controlling a child’s behavior. We focus on the short-term goal of winning our child’s conflict or changing their behavior while missing the long-term goal of improving their behavior.
As We Focus on Family Broadcast “Reaching Your Child’s Heart When They Transgress,” author Ginger Hubbard suggests a better way.
She recommends asking probing questions that help your kids evaluate themselves, rather than relying on you to detail the problem and explain how to solve it. Questions of the heart help children recognize their mistakes and own them.
This program will give you practical insights on how to train your child at age-appropriate stages, ask the right questions, and encourage your child in the right direction. In particular, we discuss in depth how to handle problems such as lying, disobedience, and tattling.
Listen to our full conversation with your local radio station, onlineon Spotify, Apple Podcaststhrough Google Podcastsor take us with you to our free phone app.
Our conversations are based on Ginger’s wonderful book, I Can’t Believe You Said That: Biblical Wisdom for Tripping Your Child’s Tongue. As the title implies, it is full of biblical wisdom to help you connect with your child’s heart instead of just shaping their outward behavior.
If you can be special with us through our monthly “Family Focus Friends” program, I will send you a copy of Ginger’s book as a way of thanking you for touching others with love. Christ. You’ll also receive member-exclusive benefits. To make your pledge, or for more information, click HERE or call 1-800-A-FAMILY (232-6459).