Self-compassion is associated with greater motivation, less procrastination and better relationships. A psychologist explains how to develop it

Mindfulness and self-compassion today buzzwords for self-improvement. But in fact, a growing body of research shows that these practices can lead to real mental health benefits. This research – ongoing, extensive and worldwide – clearly shows how and why these two practices work.

An effective way to cultivate mindfulness and self-compassion through meditation.

For more than 20 years, as a clinical psychologist, research scientist and teacher, I taught meditation to students and clinical patients and thoroughly reviewed the research literature. My new book, “The Self-Talk Workout: Six Science-Backed Strategies to Eliminate Self-Criticism and Change the Voice in Your Head,” highlights much of that research.

I learned more when I evaluated mental health programs and psychology classes which trains participants in mindfulness and compassion-based practices.

Define mindfulness and self-compassion

Mindfulness means deliberately paying attention to the present moment with an attitude of interest or curiosity rather than judgment.

Self-compassion involves being kind and understanding to yourself, even in times of suffering or failure.

The two are together with greater good.

But don’t get confused self-confidence with self-confidence or self-centeredness, or think that it somehow lowers your standards, motivation or productivity. However, research shows that self-compassion associated with greater motivation, don’t procrastinate too much and better relationships.

Be patient when starting a meditation practice

I didn’t like meditation — the specific practice sessions that train mindfulness and self-compassion — the first time I tried it as a college student in the late ’90s. I feel like a failure when my mind wanders, and I interpret that as a sign that I can’t do it.

In my own and other meditation practices, I have noticed that the beginning is often rocky and full of doubt, resistance and distraction.

But what seems like obstacles can improve the practice of meditation, because the mental work of managing it strengthens.

For the first six months that I meditated, my body and mind were restless. I want to get up and do other things. But I didn’t. Eventually it became easier to notice my urges and thoughts without acting on them. I’m not mad at myself.

After about a year of constant meditation, my mind seemed more organized and controlled; it is no longer stuck in self-critical loops. I feel a sense of kindness or friendliness towards myself in everyday moments, as well as during happy or difficult experiences. I prefer ordinary activities, like walking or cleaning.

It took a while to understand that whenever you sit down and try to meditate, that is meditation. It is a thought process, rather than a destination.

How to meditate on the mind

Just having a general goal of being more self-aware or kind isn’t likely to work.

Most programs have been shown to make meaningful differences includes at least seven sessions. Studies show this repeated exercise improve attention skills and reduced rumination, or repetitive negative thinking.

They too reduce self-criticismthat is linked to many mental health difficultiesincluding depression, ANXIETY, eating abnormalities, self harm and post-traumatic stress disorder.

Meditation isn’t just about keeping your attention – it’s about it too shift and return to your focus after distraction. The act of shifting and focusing on developing attention skills and reduced rumination.

Always trying to avoid self-judgment during the session train your mind to be less self-critical.

An interconnected group of brain regions called the default mode network is the greatly affected by meditation. Much of the activity on this network reflects repetitive thinking, such as repeating a decade of tension with your sister. It’s most prominent when you’re not doing much. The default mode network activity is related to rumination, sadness and depression.

Research shows that just one month of meditation reduces noise in the default mode network. The type of meditation practice it doesn’t seem important.

Building on formal practice

A common misconception about mindfulness is that it is a method to relax or clear the mind. Rather, it means consciously paying attention to your experiences in a non-judgmental way.

Consider meditation a formal part of your practice — that is, take time to work on specific mindfulness and self-kindness techniques.

Cultivating mindfulness with meditation often involves focusing attention on the breath. A common way to begin the practice is to sit in a comfortable place and pay attention to your breathing, wherever you feel it most strongly.

At some point, perhaps after a breath or two, your mind will wander to another thought or feeling. When you notice that, you can bring your attention back to the breath and try not to judge yourself for losing focus for five to 10 minutes.

When I first started meditating, I had to redirect my attention dozens or hundreds of times in a 20-to-30-minute session. Counting 10 breaths, and then another 10, and so on, helped me connect my mind to the task of paying attention to my breathing.

The most established method for cultivating self-compassion is called loving-kindness meditation. To practice, find a comfortable position, and for at least five minutes, repeat to yourself phrases like, “May I be safe. May I be happy. I hope I’m healthy. May I live in ease.”

If your attention wanders, you can bring it back with as little self-judgment as possible and keep repeating the phrases. Then, if you wish, offer the same good wishes to other people or to all beings.

Every time you return your focus to your practice without judgment, you shift your mental awareness, because you notice your mind wandering. You also improve your capacity to shift attention, a valuable anti-rumination skill, and your non-judgment, an antidote to self-criticism.

These practices work. Studies show that brain activity during meditation results in less self-judgment, depression and anxiety and resulting in less clutter.

Mindfulness also happens when you focus on present sensations, such as tasting your food or washing the dishes.

A continuous routine of formal and informal practice can change your thinking. And again, doing it all at once won’t help. It’s like situps: One situp isn’t likely to strengthen your abdominal muscles, but doing several sets per day will.

Meditation reduces self-criticism

Studies show that meditation of mind and loving-kindness meditation reduce self-criticism, which leads to better mental healthincluding low levels of depression, ANXIETY and PTSD. After an eight-week meditation program, the participants experienced little self-judgment. These changes are associated with reduced depression and anxiety.

One final point: Beginning meditators may find that self-criticism gets worse before it gets better.

After years or decades of habitual self-judgment, people often judge themselves harshly for losing focus during meditation. But once students get through the first few weeks of practice, self-judgment begins to loosen, both about meditation and about oneself in general.

As one of my students said recently after a few weeks of meditation: “I am stronger, better able to turn away from unhelpful thoughts and do all this while being more kind and loving to my self.”

Rachel Goldsmith TurowAdjunct Assistant Professor of Population Health Science and Policy, University of Seattle

This article was reprinted from The Conversation under Creative Commons license. Read the original article.



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