Why Is It So Hard For Me To Let Go Of Control?

Here’s something you’ve probably guessed about me if you’ve been reading my blog for any amount of time. I’m a control freak. 😀 I’m not a team player. It’s not easy for me to trust people to do things for me. I’ve been like this all my life. My mom told me that one of the first complete sentences I learned to say as a very young child was, “I did it myself!” So I’ve always been fiercely independent.

As I’ve been working on this house for the last almost ten years, there are things that I obviously need to hire because there’s no way I can do it myself. I hired structural work when we converted the garage into my studio. I mean, there’s no way I could do this…

… to myself in all this.

studio progress on 10-25-2019 - 5

But I’m sure those guys will tell you that I’m always there, always hovering, always making sure things go according to plan. And things are sure nothing walk without hindrance. There were some major frustrations with that contractor – miscommunications that could easily have been avoided and never should have happened – which increased my resolve to never hire work unless I absolutely had to because I couldn’t trust the people who do things right. . (I have shared more details about that here.)

And then there’s the carport. There is no way I could build that on my own. This requires pouring concrete, adding large and very heavy structural beams, and more. That is a job best handled by many men. (I really need to get some current photos of the carport!)

And I hired all the foundation work (subfloor, drywall, electrical, rough-in plumbing, framing) in the guest bedroom, home gym, hallway, and master bathroom.

I was also hired to install new HardiPlank siding, paint the outside of the house, pour the new sidewalk out front, and I’m sure there are a few little things I forgot.

So if it’s something I know I can’t do physically, or something that requires a lot of people, or something I promise I’ll never do again in my life (like installation, taping, and grouting of drywall), I Hire it. I’ll do it without anger, and then I’ll hover and ask a lot of questions while the job is done, but I’m paid for it.

But I always had a hard time allowing myself to hire a job that I knew I could do myself. And it’s definitely not something you don’t want to spend money on. It’s just that I’m very independent and don’t trust other people to do the work to my standards. I never let anyone do any finishing work inside our house, because I don’t trust anyone else to do that.

The problem is that my wild freedom and control freak tendencies aren’t just directed at my DIY projects and work around the house. But I also find it hard to relinquish control over things that other people can probably do better than I can, like cleaning my house. And as you know, that pissed me off last week.

As I lay sick in bed all week, watching helplessly as my house became a complete disaster site with each passing day, it never once crossed my mind to hire someone to help. to me. That thought had never crossed my mind. My brain is just not wired that way.

There was actually a time in 2016 and 2017 when I hired someone to clean our house, but that kind of failed, and I never thought about hiring someone else. For at least six months now, Matt has been urging me to hire someone to come at least once every two weeks, if not every week, to clean the house so I can focus on other things, but I’m dragging my feet on that. It is very difficult for me to relinquish control over things that I know I can do on my own. Why am I like that?!?!

Right now, there are three things that we always hire for. The first was mowing the lawn, and I never thought twice about leaving that to someone else. We have an acre of land, and I have no desire to mow it myself. We also lease our pest control and HVAC maintenance, both of which occur quarterly. Those are the only things we’re hiring for right now.

I look around my house, and I see a lot of small projects that I can do and need to hire. The faux stone on the balcony skirt. Why am I determined to do that to myself? A handyman can do that in an afternoon. Reinstalling a shutter that fell during high winds during a thunderstorm. Sat there for about a year as I told myself I would do it as soon as I could. Why am I determined to do that to myself? I could give you a long list of projects like that that I could easily hire, and yet, I have a hard time committing to those. Whyyyy???

However, all that to say…

hi I’m Kristi, and I’m a control freak.

But I really want to get better and learn to trust other people to do things for me. I’m going to push myself by making a few phone calls today.

What home-related things have you helped out with? Do you have a handyman on speed dial? Do you hire out your lawn maintenance? Do you have someone cleaning your house? I’m just curious. Are there other control freaks like myself out there?

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