Given the archetypal mentality of “smile and carry” about women’s health, it is on the mark for America to have the lowest amount of childbirth satisfaction of all nationalities. In the U.S., childbirth families are responsible for providing their own employment support, whether through a midwife, doula or partner. This support is not built into the system, and it is not built into society. I’m not talking about medical care, I’m talking about small but highly impactful comfort measures that can prevent decades of PTSD. It is important that you and your partner take birth support seriously, especially in New York City, where C-Section rates are even higher.
The good news is, effective childbirth support is something all of us can provide with a little education and practice. As a birth teacher and doula for 15 years, I have seen peers grow and take on the primary support role after just one class.
Why does this matter? The long -term consequences of a negative birth experience cost more to a doula: Increased risk for depression, anxiety and PTSD and reduced mother -infant bonding, and fear of future childbirth. The ways we feel about our bodies, babies, sexuality and motherhood are affected by our birth experiences. In short, childbirth is important!
What can you do? Numerous studies have concluded that respectful trainees, a safe and comfortable birth environment, and a sense of control are associated with mothers ’satisfaction while working. Respect, safety and restraint; Here your spouse can show up! Your spouse’s primary responsibility is to monitor your work experience. By managing your immediate environment to feel with care, and meeting your needs selflessly, your partner can improve your likelihood of feeling empowered.
If you are pregnant, offer this article to your partner, or use the following guide as a script to open up a dialogue about birth control.
Take the Medication
Partner, your first job is to familiarize yourself with the medical team when you get to your work environment. Lead with gratitude; Keep in mind that most of the tasks the patient faces require many hours in severe physical and emotional state. Introduce yourself and your co -worker; know the names of the staff, and let them know how much you appreciated their care in advance.
Offering Working and Delivering nurses is an expensive gift that will automatically increase their patience for you and your needs; something delicious from the shelves above Trader Joe’s dessert freezer that will do the job well. Alternatively, write a ‘Thank you’ card ahead of time and give it to the group of nurses as you deal with your situation.
By expressing your gratitude, you set the stage for mutual respect. If you go around the hospital like a machine, and treat the staff like cogs, they will also retaliate. Be human and are expected to be treated human.
Manage the Environment
During work, a woman’s senses are on high alert, scanning the surroundings for threats. The brain interprets bright lights, loud sounds and bad smells into meaningful danger, so look at what’s going on around you and think about it from this perspective. The adrenaline stops making, which makes it even harder for women to give birth. Imagine a dark, comfortable cave and you are on the right track.
The birth environment is a quick place to make changes that will reduce her stress level, and increase her safety. Once you have met the medical team, take a moment to scan the work area and deliver. Look for bright lights, and darken them or turn them off or close the blinds. If you hear the medical staff speaking loudly to you, explain that the noise upset your co -worker, and kindly ask for silence. Take the man’s favorite essential oil to give birth, and cover it with a cloth placed over his head.
Center His Needs
While working women want to know they’re in good hands, they don’t want to feel actively observed. You can help your partner give birth by being fully available and available for his or her needs, including what you want.
Try to identify her needs by doing thoughtful things that can make a lot of difference:
-Packing food for the two of you so you don’t have to leave the room to go to the cafeteria
-Always have water nearby and track his drinking from the start of work
-Ask the labor and delivery team where you can get ice and a laundry if he needs to heat up
-Notice if her lips are broken from heavy breathing by holding back, and offering her lip balm
Remember that this experience is not about you, so don’t take anything personal. The hard work will require all of the woman’s focus to give birth, so she won’t have to think about you, nor should she. Think of yourself as a NASCAR pit mechanic – it’s just about the car and the driver / mom and the baby. If he asks you to force pressure, force even more; if he asks you to stop, stop; if he asks you to be quiet; silence. Don’t be offended by these requests – he’s in charge of most of the work in his life, and your role is to support him.
Consider Getting a Doula
For most of us, the medical environment is a scary, alien land. With unfamiliar vocabulary, a unique power structure, and specific protocols, loneliness can easily disappear. A doula is like a trailguide for your birth experience, helping you navigate the land from home to home back home. Empirical data show that doulas reduce the length of work, need for disease treatment, and tend to have a C-Section for all demographics, but isolated populations, in particular, should seriously consider hiring a doula to help with advocacy.
The first person one looks at working for trust is his or her partner. There is no substitute for a supportive partner, even the presence of an expert doula, so take your role seriously. Childbirth preparation is not only informative, it is also emotional. Your investment in learning has a lasting impact on your family – it’s worth it!
Sara Lyon is a 15 -year -old birth teacher and doula, a mother of two, and a resident of UWS. You can learn from him at www.thebirthdeck.com and buy his books, You Got It and The Nativity Deck, on Amazon.